High Maintenance

You can’t really expect point one percenters to pick up their own dry cleaning. Or make their own restaurant reservation. Or — Good grief! – grocery shop. Even if a master and mistress of the universe employs a battalion of gardeners, chefs and housekeepers, there are still oodles of everyday wants and needs that require outside services.

Want to take surfing lessons? Need your bar stocked? Who you gonna call: a concierge. Phew! Now you can relax on the chopper ride out east knowing that a masseuse will be awaiting your arrival as quickly as you can say: “Wheels up!”

There are ma and pop concierges and then there is the more corporate variety such as South Fork newcomer, KEY Concierge, with locations in 17 luxury markets including Aspen, Miami, Park City and New York. They launched their Hamptons operation last summer. With a team that boasts experienced concierges from top hotel brands such as Mandarin Oriental and The Little Nell, the head Hamptons concierge hails from the Waldorf Astoria.

“We handle the essentials such as pre-arrival grocery, stocking the bar, rental car delivery, hard to get dinner restaurant reservations, nannies, private chefs, masseuses, in-home yoga, and brunches by the pool,” says the company’s Director of Business Development, Erin Kotzur. “The Hamptons are different than our other markets because things are inconvenient here,” says Kotzur.

One of their most popular services is to curate “local experiences such as clam bakes with white wine tastings or surf lessons with picnics. Mimosas included. Their top requests from last summer included bike delivery, dinner parties, private drivers and private lessons. “The sky’s the limit!”

Last season their most challenging client called two days prior to his arrival with a list of 10 requests. Here’s just a partial list: all emails printed daily and left at the front door with six newspapers; two fresh white robes and 10 white washcloths delivered daily; three cars delivered from the city and three wave runners. All requests were fulfilled except … his order for guns. “As long as it’s legal we’ll get it done.”

SPECIALIZED CONCIERGES

Pampered Pooches
Hamptons Canine Concierge
For those who want the best for their four-legged friends, veterinarian Cindy Bressler offers a luxe lifestyle for your pooch including spa days (massage, ‘furcials,” “pawdicures”), yoga, grooming, swimming lessons, play dates, birthday parties, acupuncture and of course, a personal stylist. Did we mention paddle boarding? Not only that, Dr. Bressler is available 24/7 for routine and emergency house calls, medicine delivery and is the only local vet that provides in-home hospitalization for pets.

Cruisin’
Hamptons Yacht Charters
Wanna show up in front of Sunset Beach aboard your own yacht? Well, maybe not your own. The concierge here can provision yacht excursions from a day trip anchored off a secluded Shelter Island Beach to an extended voyage to, say, Martha’s Vineyard. Each cruise can be customized to your needs. Did I hear an order for Lillet rosé cocktails?

Horsing Around
JW Equestrian Concierge
Justin Ward calls himself an “activity concierge” whose objective is to provide “fun.” While the former event planner can do that by getting clients into private parties or organizing a paddle-board party, he focuses primarily on equine activities. Think: polo lessons followed by brunch on the field or a kids’ pony camp. Giddyup.

Welcoming Committee
Summerready
Concierge Robbie Dockswell is hired by homeowners and realtors to help tenants adjust to their new surroundings – from familiarizing them with the home to providing cooking lessons and beyond.